It’s getting hot in England
It was so hot today that Frappuccino’s were trending on Twitter.
Okay, fine, it was a paid promotion. However, there is absolutely no way that is getting traction on a just a regular hot day, or even a regular hot week. Nope, this was a hot hot day. 36°C it reached today, which is 97°F (just in case my archives wash up on the beaches of Florida). Now, in the United States, they say under 0°F is too cold to go out, and over 100°F and you probably shouldn’t go out either. If we’re just going off heat, then it says something that even the average American wouldn’t go out in this shite.
But there are other factors here, I’ve been to Florida, and their hot weather feels like a lovely dry breeze of warmth. No humidity. I don’t know how many countries outside of the states possess this luxury, but it’s safe to say that England is not familiar with such a sensation. If you ask the average Brit what heat feels like here, they would all chime the same note like an orchestra…
“Sticky.”
I can only speak for myself, and you may disagree, you may think going to a beach during the times of a historical worldwide virus, while the sun glares at you for your decision, is a sound choice. You may think this, but I have the talking pillow.
Today, my dog got up from her bed, walked forward two paces, and collapsed in front of the kitchen fan. She left her habitat of comfort and tranquillity for the tiniest fraction of moving air. I reckon that is too hot. I woke up this morning because I have no curtains at the moment (another article I promise) and the sun warmed up my pillow like a stone in the desert. I reckon that is too hot. I washed my hands with some pump soap and the sun had turned the liquid into a temperature a level below a hot drink. I am not lying, and I reckon that is too hot.
I would say you know it’s too hot when you’re considering a cold shower and a sheet for bed. Cold showers I understand are popular among some cults, but sheets?! You are a desperate individual if you decide fold up the duvet and throw on the sheet, especially the midnight substitutions. No one takes these measures unless they don’t know where to turn.
To summarise, today was hot and I’m still angry about it. Thanks for reading, it helps.
